Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
