The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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