i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
