Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
