Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
be right there i have to get my cape
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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