Your tits are I can't wait for
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
that's an acceptable place to lick
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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