Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
