If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
