i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
