she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
one might say we're banned from that church
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
