I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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