She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
