i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
