So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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