i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
