Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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