just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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