I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
