All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
