"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
