Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
