just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
