What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
