We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
