Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Randomize
