All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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