You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
