genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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