dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
