omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
