Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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