at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Also, beer. Big fan.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
