was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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