walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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