well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
