Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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