you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
