I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
