I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
