i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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