I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
