I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
