yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
