There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
