I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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