something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
