i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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