drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
