so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
