Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
